Lashing out
28 June 2017:
I have a fear of anger. Anger is like frenemies but different. Angernus control your brain , mind and body it doesn't goes away until it over. I don’t like being angry because , it not my friend.
Being angry to someone you know or don’t know, is not right to put your anger on them.
I have been trying to control my anger for 6 months , And yet it had taken over me today. I been trying so hard to not get angry at someone for 6 months.
I just don’t like been hated from people i don’t know. It very hard to not listen what they saying about me , it very negative.
I feel like there’s too much hatred in this world , that we don’t know. I wish in this world there was peace and harmony, I wish there was voice for people to hear , that people could listen , that people could become one, I wish there was a voice to bring people together.
I hate anger , I hate it , I hate it. It not good for me or my health , it not good for my family and it not good for me at all. I don’t want anger to define who I am , I want happiness and joy define who i am. Happiness and joy is what I want to represent.
Present day :October 24 2018
It been a long time , i haven't got angry at anyone, i feel like i had the right mindset and right choice and goal , of what to do and what to except . I think for me it has been one year that i never got angry , it surprisingly good, to endurance , not much love nor hate , just to be quiet and endurance inner peace , i think as for those who might read this , it has been blasted for me , to endurance an inner peace , and i been trying for the last 6month , now i feel like i'm at peace . by doing music in my secret times at home, i don't usually show that i played a bit of guitar ,play piano and sing.
cause i get a little bit anxious what people think when i perform, but in my mind, i just want to get it perfect for people so they won't laugh at me. It like a challenge i'm gonna face and to except. I'm glad , that i have a task and a challenge to do and my main goal is to bring peace, like the late great john lennon , i wanna bring peace cause i believe people everywhere are created equally.
The only thing , i don't have in my heart is love, cause i really don’t wanna seek it that much , but like i love myself, but sometimes there's sometime you feel insecure of people speaking behind the curtain. I wanna try hard to find the destiny of love , and try endure it , cause that what i want in my life.
Do you know what funny , I have celebrity crush on someone , no mention names , but i feel like when i fall in love , with someone , It like a dream passing by and and wishing for that moment on repeat , but to me i see it as a blur dream , cause it just a standard feeling only for temporarily, it does not stay there, cause you just want a feeling that sounds forever. And through my journey i'll wanna try and find that feeling , but omgosh i'm so in love with my celebrity crush, 😂😂
but yeah , just to let you know , i'm okay , and i'm feeling at peace, but searching for dignity of love, hopefully , That my dream doesn't become a blur, but be close to me and hold me in the arms as i die, and kiss me, that one of my craziest imagination
Love is something that you can't wish for , it something that you have to be patience , be prepare , to learn , and prevent from
2. We are dreamers , that wish that our own fantasy
was real, and that we could play god. But we only dream
3. I wish peace exist so we don't have to hurt each other a lot , And just so that love is what we can be.
